Your right hand comes off?
by Harry Tendou Kennedy
Summary: Harry realizes the existence of hte Punisher and enlists his help. Mercheant is called in from REsident Evil 4 for fun too. Harry is slightly sadistic but hey that's perfectly fine. UNBETAED


Note to Readers and self: Harry Potter/Punisher Xover.

I own seven Harry Potter books and whatever he does in my mind but ultimately his rights go to J.. I may one day own Marvel though…

The Punisher is hired by Harry to help him finish Voldemort's Death Eaters and injure Voldemort. Punisher will be his usual gun-toting, trigger happy, psychopathic and child-loving self. Harry will seem slightly dark, but hey, its set after HBP, he's feeling kind of emo. Suddenly he receives unexpected news via Muggle Newspapers…

Underline for Harry's thoughts

_Italics_ for Frank Castle's thoughts

…

**Harry's POV**

Dumbledore, his greatest and last protector was dead, he felt more alone then ever. He had a week left before he left this home, no not home, house for it never had any special meaning to him, he looked into the kitchen and caught Vernon making a comment about some guy named Frank, his face was purple but splotched with green just like when he saw any wizards around. HJarry beat a hasty retreat to the living room's sofa. 

Harry forlornly glanced at the Muggle Newspaper from his perch on his sofa, Aunt Petunia had stacked the papers neatly on the living room table. The front page dully read

**"The Punisher in Britain?**

The Punisher had appeared to be making his rounds here in Good ole' Britain, in Privet Drive No. 1 an entire family was found killed in their living room, along with evidence of their crimes tapped and stuffed over and into their mouths, this includes paperwork, pictures and cash, the wall behind them had the trademark skull the Punisher is so fond of using. Etched in Pen on the body of the head of the Gnucci house was this cryptic message. "For years the Brits have appeared to be clean making America seem to be the most crime infested state, but that is now false, the criminals in America have learned their lesson, its your turn" The last three words were also sprayed below his trademark skull and the remaining 3 walls of the living room. For more details of the crime committed by the Gnucci family and associates please turn to page 8…"

Harry blinked. He was supposed to be a comic book character. Apparently he was a real person (A/N or as real as it can get if you live in a magical world…) in truth. And an idea struck Harry. If I can persuade Frank Castle to join me he could work as my hand in killing death eaters or incapacitating them at least. This may need some preparations though…

He grabbed his ink bottle parchment and composed himself and then composed a letter.

Harry proceeded to send previous letter to Remus Lupin, the Merchant and most importantly Frank Castle.

His letters started like this

Dear (insert name here),

I have an interesting proposition I would like you to consider…

If this doesn't work Voldemort will be the least of my worries…

…

Remus Lupin woke at the sound of an owl tapping his window. Aforementioned owl was Hedwig and he knew Harry needed something from him desperately. He opened the letter addressed to him and his eyes widened at what Harry would be attempting, if it worked Harry truly was his father's son…

…

"Welcome, strangah'" the Merchant obviously took no notice of the fact a Snowy white owl was sending him a letter and merely laughed out loud. "Thank you!" He ripped open the leter and his eyes quickly flickered over the letters in it, he could hear the galleons and pestas dropping into his undetectable expansion charmed pockets as he prepared the items Harry needed. He stuck something into Frank Castle's letter and Hedwig continued her journey.

…

Frank completed his workout just as an owl dropped a letter on his forehead and left immediately. _Stupid owls, they're not supposed to do that, I guess it doesn't help I have such big cojones and have muscle strength so huge I could snap it neck with 2 fingers…_

He opened the letter and read it out to no one.

"Dear Mr Frank Castle,

It has come to my attention that you are of the wish to dispose of the criminals in this respectable society of Britain, and naturally if I don't tell you what I want from you within the next 10 seconds you'll burn this letter…" _True indeed, now get to the point! _"so I wish to engage you as a partner in clearing out a bunch of genocidal maniacs led by one hypocritical genocidal over powered Maniac©, his name is Tom Marvolo Riddle but prefers to be known as Lord Voldemort." _Who knows what that deluded psycho is up to now…_ "With the realization of your existence, you could be fundamental in letting me win the Dark Tosser instead of just barely surviving him. So yes, my name is Harry James Potter and as a show of goodwill I have given you something special for your next mission/killing spree. I hope to meet you by the pier in 2 days times by the warehouse at 5 pm" _For tea perhaps? Its been a long time since someone invited me for tea… _Frank frowned at what he just thought and continued reading "as another show of my transparent intentions the warehouse is unlocked and has no traps at all, but naturally I assume you would like to check it beforehand, thus I have also enclosed glass keys to the warehouse as well in this letter. Enjoy your new toy!

Go Get them!

Harry James Potter"

Frank Castle picked a glass key out of the envelope, _Harry is probably some form of a prankster…, _and his brows rose in surprise as another metallic object dropped out. _Mama Mia! It's not Mario, it's a Handcannon with unlimited ammunition, Harry's a man after my heart. _

On the way to the warehouse that night…

The next criminal who saw Frank Castle ran away when he saw the grin plastered on Frank's face as he pulled the Overpowered magnum revolver's trigger

_Boom! Head shot! +10 points to Frank Castle, +10 points to Death, -1__00 to enemy morale, -0.001 to enemy numbers._

Frank followed up with his ever so trusty AK-47 with bottomless magazines coming out of his pockets. His phone rang in his pocket. He picked it up and picked off a dumbass henchman at the same time with the sniper rifle now in his hands.

"Hey man, how are you?" Frank inquires as he punches the larynx of a man so deep in with his knuckle dusters such that the man is silent permanently. Idle chatter can be heard over the line.

"Really? Ok, well gotta go, someone's sneaking up on me, call you in 1 min 3 seconds?"

Frank takes out 4 grenades throws them in the 4 basic directions and follows up by pressing the big red button on the remote conjured which conveniently places itself in his hands. He then liquefies the head of the person sneaking up on him with a suplex (souplex, geddit?).

Its silent for about half a second then the four buildings surrounding him which was conveniently filled with bad guys who came from the Storm troopers Marksmanship academy instantly dies.

It has been a minute since he terminated the call

Frank dials the number and states "Alright done, so you interested in joining my new venture?"

A/N: End of Chapter 1 Save Yes/No? Handcannon is a magnum revolver with 99.9 firepower and infinite ammunition when fully upgraded in Resident Evil 4, the Merchant likewise comes from Resident Evil 4, and he sells guns duh. Who should be the Punisher's/Harry's next partner? You decide or I'll continue with plan A…


End file.
